april 1, 2025

today i had a second interview to work at a company i walked away from four years ago because i realized it did not align with my morals and values. i’ve circled back because i had a fairly easy in due to my experience and because, unfortunately, i need a job to survive.

i’m tired of survival jobs. but i’m equally tired of not being able to break into the industry and spaces that i want to be a part of.

and, unfortunately, i’m tired of standing in my own way. i have a hard time believing n my own work. i think i’m partially to blame, but i also fault society/social media for making outside validation appear so important. i guess i can take responsibility for buying into that believe, but it’s so hard not to, right? right??

we [Americans] are raised to allow and expect the world to grade us, rate us, determine our value, aren’t we?

there’s seldom a time and space from birth that we are not compared to something or someone else by somebody.

when are we seen as ourselves without comparison to anyone or anything else?

and how do we learn to see ourselves that way?